20

Here’s what you should know about sexual compatibility.

What is sexual compatibility?

There is no official definition of sexual compatibility. According to Dr. Christopher Ryan Jones, PsyD, a clinical psychologist with a specialty in sex therapy, “This simply isn’t something that would be listed in the DSM or dictionary”. Yet, in a sense, it is pretty easily defined intuitively. Compatible means “able to exist or perform in harmonious or agreeable combination”. So, compatibility has to do with how people or things get along. In the case of sexual compatibility, it’s how you get along, or are in sync with each other sexually.

It sounds simple enough, and is often treated as a “pop” topic in media, but it is actually a much larger concept. It’s not just about physical attraction or liking the same things in bed. It’s also about communication and respect. That includes the extent to which you share sexual beliefs, preferences, desires, and needs with your partner. Ultimately, It’s about the alignment of factors like communication styles, emotional needs, and values that shape intimate experiences.

Why is sexual compatibility important?

Because relationships thrive on connection, trust and intimacy, sexual compatibility can play an essential role in maintaining a healthy relationship. By providing both a physical and emotional connection, it helps support the communication, understanding and mutual respect that need to be there as the relationship evolves and goes through the ebb and flow of life as it happens. And it’s not static. What works in the early stages of a relationship may not work later on. Many couples need to work on sexual compatibility as time passes.
Sex is a crucial component of a relationship, as well as within your life experience aside from the relationship. This means that awareness and clarity internally will help create the best outcome relationally in sex. Being in alignment and in sync sexually, can deepen trust and intimacy. On the other hand, when partners can’t achieve or find compatibility, it can lead to resentment, frustration or feelings of disconnection. Whether you are in a new relationship or looking to strengthen a long-term bond, understanding sexual compatibility can be the key to building a more mutually fulfilling connection. When you are in a sexually compatible relationship, sex can be a source of deep bonding, stress relief, playfulness and emotional closeness, enhancing trust and satisfaction in the relationship overall.
21

How to measure sexual compatibility

As mentioned, the subject of sexual compatibility is often popularized because it lends itself to “lists” and “signs”. The ones that come up the most frequently and consistently are also the ones that most studies and relationship experts agree on. After reviewing multiple sources, including those from academic, research, medical and counseling fields, here are the best measures, or signs, that you are sexually compatible:
  • No pressure: Sex doesn’t feel forced in the sense that you don’t feel obligated or rushed to do it, or feel a need to manufacture, or “fake” your response to it.
  • Shared arousal awareness: You know pretty much how, when and what arouses your partner. This also includes a sense of timing, from the initiation of sex through to climaxing, with a tendency to be able to climax together.
  • Mutual enjoyment: You enjoy pleasuring each other and have similar sexual appetites and desires. This can also include being physically compatible and maintaining similar levels of fitness.
22
  • Comfortable talking about sex: You can be open and honest with your partner and talk about your likes, dislikes and boundaries. You are also comfortable discussing trying new things or even fantasies, and you are open to compromise.
  • Both initiate sex equally: There is a shared sense of enjoyment, fun and excitement when either partner initiates sex. It doesn’t have to be a rigid schedule of alternating, but you both are good when the other takes the lead.
  • Make time for sex: Sex in your relationship is important enough that you make time for it, and take your time with it, regardless of other factors and demands outside of your relationship.
  • You know each other’s signs: In both the initiation of, and during sex, you recognize or know each other’s signals and cues. You can often know what your partner wants without them having to verbalize it. This goes to the heart of intimacy, and the quality of the sex taking priority.
  • Comfort and intimacy beyond the bedroom: Your partner makes you feel sexy and confident, but also safe and respected. You are comfortable being open with each other. Sex between you comes naturally and you are aware of each other’s comfort levels both in and out of the bedroom.

What affects sexual compatibility?

Because sexual compatibility isn’t just about physical attraction or a spontaneous spark, a number of factors can negatively affect how well you are connecting with your partner:
  • Environment: Anything from spending your day in a stressful work environment to not having adequate private space can affect the level and quality of intimacy you are able to experience. A hectic family situation at home, or not having your own place, as in the case of having roommates, can limit having a close sexual connection. Your environment can be both a mental and a physical limitation.
  • Sexual turn-ons and turn-offs: Not everyone is at the same place, at the same time when it comes to sexual preferences. It can add frustration and strain a developing, fully compatible sexual relationship, possibly even ending it.
  • Physical and mental health: These health issues can affect both sex drive and sexual performance. The important thing is to be open with each other about it, and not be afraid to seek professional help from a counselor or sex therapist if you feel it’s needed to maintain and improve your sexual bond.
  • Major life events: Things like a job change or loss, moving, a new baby, a family emergency or death can contribute to both stress and a lack of time to maintain and grow your sexual relationship.
  • Relationship issues: If there are issues or conflicts going on in other areas of your relationship, besides sex, they are most likely to show themselves during sex, and negatively impact your sexual compatibility.
23

How to build (or rebuild) sexual compatibility

It would not be accurate to say that all sexual differences can be overcome. However, sexual compatibility can be created, to a degree, as long as there is open, honest communication to start with. It’s important to have a baseline of both qualities and expectations. You have to be able to share your wants, needs and desires, kinks and all if applicable. If your partner doesn’t know, and you don’t let them know, you are never going to be on the same page sexually.

A sexually compatible couple is generally in agreement or aligns on a couple of basic things. Those are, the priority you both place on sex as well as your sexual appetites. If there is a strong bond of emotional intimacy, even these things can often be worked through, but once again, it comes down to being able to communicate openly and honestly. Even then, it can be a question of how much work you both are willing to put in. If one partner sees sex as a top priority and wants it much more often than the other, who may see the emotional, supportive non-sexual bond of the relationship as more important, it becomes a question of how much both partners are willing to give a little in finding common ground.

Sexual frequency, sexual duration, the process of having sex (spontaneous, planned), after-sex preferences, time and place for sex, specific sex acts and responses to requests for sex are all things that, if they can be talked about in a supportive, honest way, can lead to a highly satisfying and compatible sexual relationship.

The take-away on sexual compatibility

Sexual compatibility is a significant factor in the well-being of a relationship, and it is one of the dimensions of sexual health and sexual well-being in life. Psychologists often observe it as a major predictor of long-term relationship happiness. While many couples see love as a guarantee of great sex, scientists mostly disagree, seeing chemistry, communication and responsiveness as being more important.
The good news is that nothing is set in stone. Sexual compatibility is malleable, and there are endless new habits, thoughts and strategies that can be tried and developed to strengthen both the bond and the sex between you and your partner. Relationships are as unique and individual as the people in them. If there is mutual respect, open, non-critical communication and a meaningful emotional connection, it’s a good bet that a good sexual compatibility will follow.

A little extra help

As a leader in telemedicine products Riize has developed unique, fast-acting oral dissolving strips to enhance sexual intimacy and experience.

Riize Max strips are a prescription product that has established an exceptional standard for the delivery of ED medications. It is the first and only product for ED to use a proprietary, compound formula combining the two most powerful ED treatment medications – sildenafil and tadalafil – with the added natural hormone, oxytocin. With the latest technology in thin film manufacturing, these multiple active ingredients are layered onto one rapidly dissolving oral film strip (ODF).
frame 39432
Riize Max is an ED product that goes to work anywhere from 3x to 6x faster than other similar products, and has an efficacy of delivering up to 90% of the medications directly to the system. And Riize strips are packaged to insure maximum stability and easy, discreet handling. Riize has also eliminated the need for in-person doctor visits and trips to the pharmacy through a state-of-the-art telemedicine platform.
untitled design 2025 06 10t025349.792
Riize Health also has Riize Pinks strips for women. Riize Pinks use a proprietary compound with the peptide P-141, which studies have shown to increase feelings of intimacy, closeness and confidence for women. The same fast-acting, direct systemic delivery makes Riize Pinks a convenient, discreet way for women to enhance their libido and sexual satisfaction.
Riize Extra – This easy-to-use, non-prescription strip supports sexual health by enhancing libido and vitality. Contains testofen, chromium, selenium and ashwagandha.
26
25

SOURCES

https://www.tryquinn.com/blog/sexual-compatibility

https://www.choosingtherapy.com/sexual-compatibility/

https://amandalouder.com/podcast/270/

https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/sexual-compatibility

https://www.marriage.com/advice/physical-intimacy/the-importance-of-sexual-compatibility-in-a-relationship/

https://www.healthline.com/health/healthy-sex/sexual-compatibility#how-to-move-forward

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/hidden-desires/202503/good-in-love-bad-in-bed-truths-about-sexual-compatibility

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/mismatched-sex-drives

https://www.health.state.mn.us/people/sexualhealth/definitions.html

https://www.ashasexualhealth.org/sexual-health/

Related Posts

Scroll to Top